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Here's the thing, I like you way too much. Much more than a woman in my position should. It scares me and it gives me doubts that I never had before. When I'm around you I feel like I light up and I just pray no one else is noticing, much less you. If you have noticed, I wonder what you think? Are you flattered? Embarrassed? Am I just looking like a fool? I don't want this, I really, really don't. I pray every night to stop thinking about you or that you'll get a girlfriend or something that will drive the nail into the coffin and I can write it off as never. I get confused at times thinking whether this is all in my head. This connection that I feel when I'm with you, is it all me? It can't be, it just can't. Maybe I've romanticized it or exaggerated it but there is something there that you must feel as well, even if only a little. There are other times I think maybe it's just my life. Maybe I'm at a weird point where any semi-attractive guy that came along and was nice to me woud have earned my crush but really I don't believe that either. It's you, just you. And the thing is I really do like and enjoy my life and don't want it to change but then I'm around you and I can't help but think "what if". I like to think that if I only knew you at least felt something then I could move on knowing that I wasn't crazy and I could feel flattered and that would be that. But the reality is that if I really knew you felt any where close to this then the temptation might be too much. If only it were just a physical attraction I had to you then I could sleep easily. I could shrug it off as natural and I could have a few guilt free fantasies and soon you'd be gone from my mind. If all I thought about was what it would be like if you fucked me it'd be easy. Instead I also think about adult friends in wisconsin. adult personals of horny girls the jokes you would make at dinner before and the way you would hold me after, I think about it all and it's too much. Don't get me wrong I'm not in love with you but I feel crazy about you and I feel if only we had met under different circumstances then who knows. I find myself both dreading and looking forward to the next time I see you again. I don't know when that will be. I know what will happen though. I'll light up and feel high and then when it's over I'll crash and that night I'll toss in my sleep thinking about you. We know why we can't be together, ever, I know this and I don't know why I wrote this. I don't think you're the type of guy that would look on here. I suppose I just had to get it out. Thank you WAI. |